


My Own Path

by smallsthehero



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, 半妖の夜叉姫 | Hanyou no Yashahime | Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon (Anime)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28993761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallsthehero/pseuds/smallsthehero
Summary: Wanting to gain her independence and feeling abandoned after Sesshomaru has been gone for two years, Rin decides to learn the art of demon-slaying from Kohaku. She becomes a fierce demon slayer as she works on finding herself, gaining her independence, and sorting out her own feelings towards her former protector.Author's Note: I know I tagged this as Sesshomaru/Rin but I want to focus more on Rin herself since we haven't seen what kind of person she turns out to be yet.
Relationships: Rin & Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Rin/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been re-watching Inuyasha over the last month as Yashahime has made me remember my fondness for the series. With Rin's introduction, it got me wondering what she's been up to since The Final Act ended, and how awesome it would be if she were a demon slayer. I got the idea during the "Jaken Falls Ill" episode and Rin is being attacked by demons while she goes to get the medicine. Hope you enjoy what I came up with!

The morning light crept into the hut through the stick-thin cracks of the windows. Rin woke to its warmth caressing her cheek. She smiled as she sat up and stretched. Already she could feel a light breeze blowing in through the door, bringing with it the fresh smell of the grass and the forest outside. Today was going to be a great day, she was sure of it.

It had been close to a year since she finished building her own hut to stay in, with the aid of some of the villagers of course. While she missed staying with Kaede, as the old woman’s company was welcome, it was nice to be on her own again. She felt more comfortable being on her own. And since she was getting older, she had to become more independent if she was to stay in the village.

Her eyes drifted to the neatly folded kimonos sitting in the corner of her hut. Since she had outgrown most of them, it was time to think about either sewing them into new clothing that fit, or giving them away to the little girls in the village. Rin sighed. She didn’t want to think about them now, not on such a beautiful day. And she didn’t want to think about the one who had gifted her the kimonos either.  So, she turned away and focused on washing her face in the tub of water near her cot.

When she was dressed and cleaned for the day, Rin pushed aside the thatched door to her hut and went outside. She took a moment to breathe in the fresh air and look out at the lake. She had never imagined that this would be her life, settled down in a village and waking up to such a beautiful sight each morning. Rin felt happy though, and she hoped that nothing would ever force her to leave her new home.

Grabbing the wicker gathering basket beside the doorway she put her arms through the straps and hoisted it onto her back. When it was secure, she headed down the path that led into the woods. 

Rin had gone no farther than a few feet when she heard a familiar voice call out her name.

“Rin! Rin, wait!” it shouted.

She paused and turned around to see none other than  Jakken running down the path towards her. He looked out of breath and as  always, the Staff of Two Heads bobbed up and down over his shoulder as he scampered her way. In his other arm was something long and wrapped in brown cloth. Rin smiled fondly at him.

“Master Jakken,” she greeted as she turned to face him. “Good to see you again. It’s been a very long time.”

The imp stopped just a few feet away from her to catch his breath. Rin couldn’t help but marvel at how small he seemed. When she traveled with him as a child they had been almost the same size. Now, she was much taller than he was.

“What brings you to the village this early?” asked Rin. She looked around the area carefully. “He’s not with you, is he?”

“No, Lord  Sesshomaru is still away taking care of matters off west,”  Jakken replied, not bothering to conceal the sorrow in his tone. “Before he left, he requested that I bring you this gift on this particular day.”

“A gift?” she repeated, looking curiously at the bundle under his arm. “Why today? What’s so special about today?”

Jakken handed her the bundle. It didn’t feel like another kimono. She pressed into the cloth and felt something hard within. Carefully, she laid it down on the ground and went about undoing the tie to get it open. When she pulled the cloth away, she found herself looking at a staff with a crescent-shaped blade at the top. It was inscribed with writing she could not read, and there were five purple gems embedded around the inner curve of the blade. The staff itself was made of a smooth, red wood and felt comfortable in her hand.

While she was admiring it, she heard  Jakken exclaim “I know that weapon! That’s the Mizuki staff he claimed while we were exploring an ancient temple, long before we found you. I never knew what became of it, or even that Lord  Sesshomaru had held onto it after that.”

Rin set the staff down and covered it back up with the cloth. “I can’t accept this, Master Jakken.”

“It is a gift, Rin! Why would you not accept such a grand weapon as this?”

Thinking about  Sesshomaru brought an ache to Rin’s chest. It had been two years since she had last seen him. He had told her then that he had to go away for a while, but that he would return to her soon. She thought that “soon” had meant a week or two, so she waited patiently. The weeks turned to months and then to years without another word from him, or even  Jakken for that matter. Rin couldn’t help but feel abandoned by him, and it hurt to think that he hadn’t made any attempt to come for her. She tried not to feel bitter towards him for being gone so long, but she couldn’t help it.

“I don’t want it,” she said flatly as she got back to her feet. “I don’t want anything more from him.”

Jakken gaped at her. “Rin, what has gotten into you? You’ve always adored Lord  Sesshomaru . Why are you angry with him?”

Rin clenched her teeth, surprised by the sudden anger inside her. “I’m tired of relying on him,” she admitted. “Ever since I was a child and he saved my life, I’ve always expected him to rescue me or be there when I need him. Now he’s not, and it’s made me realize just how much I’ve relied on him. I’m not a child anymore, Jakken. It’s time for me to grow up and move on.”

“But—but  Sesshomaru said he would be back for you soon.”

“And what is  _ soon _ ,  Jakken ?” cried Rin, feeling tears start to burn at the corners of her eyes. “Is it five years? Ten? One hundred? I’m not a demon like you and him. To me,  _ soon  _ could very well be a lifetime.”

She turned away, not wanting  Jakken to see her tears. It was overwhelming for her, having those two feelings warring inside her heart. On one hand, she was angry with him for leaving her but on the other part of her still yearned to be with him. She remembered that silly wish she had made on a shooting star as a child, to stay with him forever. It was a childish dream that just wasn’t meant to be.

“Lord  Sesshomaru knows you’re mortal,”  Jakken told her softly. “He cares deeply for you, Rin, I am sure of it. If you only knew what he is battling now—”

“Well, I  _ don’t  _ know,” Rin snapped. “I’m just a silly mortal girl who put her faith in a demon. Please, Master  Jakken , know that I’m not angry with you. You’ve always been good to me. But right now, just leave me be.”

With that, she took off down the path and into the forest, ignoring the calls from  Jakken for her to come back. This was the only way she was going to be able to have some separation from him. It was time for her to stop waiting and become her own person.

Jakken did not follow her into the forest, and as she began to forage for nuts, berries, and mushrooms Rin felt her anger begin to dissipate. She felt bad for taking her anger out on  Jakken but it was what she needed to do. Hopefully the imp would understand.

Rin began to sing as she walked through the forest. She had been told by the villagers that her singing voice was lovely, and she often sang for them while they were working or during celebrations. The sound carried through the trees, and she liked to imagine that the birds were singing along with her. Unfortunately, since she was focused on singing and collecting food, she didn’t notice the demon until she felt something grab her ankle.

It pulled her down and Rin let out a cry of surprise as she hit the ground hard. She rolled over to face her attacker and felt a cold stab of fear when she saw the grey, red-eyed tentacle demon that had gotten hold of her. Even though it was just a little bigger than she was, it was still terrifying to behold. It began to pull her towards its wide, open mouth that was lined with dozens of sharp, yellow teeth.

Thinking quickly, Rin grabbed a stick that was beside her on the forest floor. With all the strength she could muster, she drove the stick into the demon’s right eye. It screeched in pain and released her leg. Rin knew that she should run but she realized that if she did then the demon would only pursue her back into the village and endanger the people there.

She  grit her teeth and pulled the stick out of the demon’s eye. Again, she put everything she had into stabbing it, this time in the left eye. The dark blood splattered onto her from the contact but Rin ignored it. She continued to stab the demon with the stick, over and over until it was no longer moving. Then she collapsed beside it, covered in blood and breathing heavily. The stick was still clutched tightly in her hands.

While Rin sat there taking in what she had just done, she heard hurried footsteps headed down the path towards her. Rin gripped the stick, ready to take on another demon if she had to.

“Rin!” came a familiar voice, and she turned to see Kohaku running to her. “Are you alright?”

He was dressed in his demon slayer garb, clearly ready for a fight. Kohaku stopped abruptly and stared in shock from the blood-covered Rin to the dead demon beside her.

“I’m okay,” Rin replied steadily. She was surprised at how calm she felt given what she had just accomplished.

“You—Rin did you kill this demon?” the young man asked her in surprise.

“Yes.”

Kohaku knelt down and examined the demon carefully. “I was chasing  this vermin on the outskirts of the village. I got careless since he’s smaller than I’m used to fighting. I’m sorry, it wouldn’t have attacked you if I had just done my job quickly.”

Rin shook her head. “No, it’s okay. Kohaku—I feel good about killing that demon.”

“What do you mean?” he asked curiously.

“When I was a little  girl I used to feel completely helpless against demons,” Rin explained. “Killing that one—it feels like I’m finally able to fight back, and it feels good.”

Kohaku studied her silently for a few moments. Then, he broke the silence by asking “Rin, how would you like to become a demon slayer?”

Her brown eyes widened in surprise. “Me?” she said blankly. “I don’t know, do you really think someone like me could do that?”

He gestured to the dead demon. “Well, you just killed a demon using a stick. Just think what you could learn to do with a real weapon in your hands.”

Rin’s thoughts went back to the Mizuki Staff that Jakken had tried to give her from Lord  Sesshomaru . Thinking of the dog demon made Rin remember her resolve to be independent of him, and demon-slaying sounded like a good way to focus her attention elsewhere.

“Okay, I will do my best,” she agreed.

“Great. You can join me and the other recruits tomorrow at dawn. I think you’re going to make a fine demon-slayer, Rin.”

******

Rin finished gathering and made her way back to her hut to drop off the food and the basket. Kohaku had told her to stop by later so they could fit her with a demon slayer uniform and a weapon to practice with the following morning. When she entered the hut, she froze when she saw the brown cloth bundle laying on her cot.  Jakken was nowhere to be seen. She felt sad that they had parted in such a way, and that he had simply left the staff in her hut and departed without a good-bye. She had always thought of him as something of a father figure, after all.

Sighing, Rin knelt down beside the cot and pulled the bundle towards her. She opened it once more and stared down at the Mizuki. Lord  Sesshomaru had wanted her to have this weapon, though for what reason she was unsure. Was this a sign he wanted her to do things on her own now? Did he think she was even competent enough to handle such a weapon?

She reached out and gingerly picked up the staff. It did feel good in her hand—it felt right. Rin closed her eyes and imagined herself wielding the staff to battle demons. With hard work and practice, she could be a great demon-slayer just like Kohaku and his elder sister Sango. Rin wondered what  Sesshomaru would think when he heard what she had planned. She decided that she wouldn’t worry about that.

“Lord  Sesshomaru can live his life and I will live mine,” Rin whispered as she stood with the staff in her hand. “Now, I suppose I should go show Kohaku what my weapon is going to be.”

**_ -FIVE YEARS LATER- _ **

“Rin, look out! It’s headed your way!”

“I’m on it.”

A loud roar filled the air as the bear demon crashed through the forest, running right towards Rin as she led it away from the village. It was gaining on her quickly, and as it approached it opened its maw wide to swallow the young woman whole. Rin smiled. This was exactly what she had been waiting for.

She stopped dead in her tracks and spun around to face the oncoming demon. Her hand went to her side and grabbed the long chain that was wrapped around her thigh. She pulled and it came loose easily, as it was made from demon scales which prevented tangling and made it lightweight. Rin spun the chain around above her head for a few moments before throwing it towards the bear demon.

The chain successfully wrapped itself around the upper jaw of the demon. She jumped and swung herself forward on the chain, kicking off from the bear’s front leg to propel herself up onto its back. Her feet connected with the thick, matted fur and she took a brief moment to steady herself. Before the bear even had time to process that she was now on its back, Rin had already plunged her Mizuki Staff into the back of its head. 

Once she had stabbed it, Rin swung down on the chain and landed gracefully on the ground behind it. She had to get out of the way because the bear’s blood was acidic and could have caused her serious harm, despite the toughness of her demon-slaying armor.

She was quickly joined by Kohaku, Akio, Daisuke, and two of the newest recruits  Rokuta and Nanasuke. The demon slayers watched as the bear bucked and shuddered before collapsing onto the ground. It spasmed for a minute then finally went still.

“Nice work, Rin,” Kohaku praised. “Rokuta, what did you notice after Rin stabbed the demon in the head?”

“She got out of the way,” said  Rokuta confidently. “Many demons have acidic or poisonous blood, and the bear demon was no exception to this.”

“Exactly,” the older demon slayer confirmed. “Nanasuke, what do you think Rin could have done had there been nowhere on the demon for her chain to wrap around?”

The younger man was silent as he considered his teacher’s words. “Umm...she could have used the Mizuki to stab the demon in the mouth?”

“Good thought, kid,” said Akio. “As a demon slayer, you gotta think on your feet. You act on instinct, and a bit of brainpower too.”

“ Well, we know  Nanasuke doesn’t have any of  _ that _ ,”  Rokuta teased as he pinched  Nanasuke’s cheek.

While  Nanasuke was putting  Rokuta into a headlock, Rin approached the collapsed demon and carefully climbed up onto its back. She pried the staff out of the back of its head, taking care not to splash any of its blood as she did so. When she slid back down, Kohaku was waiting for her.

“I’m proud of you, Rin,” he remarked. “You’ve come a long way since you first started training with us. You’re even helping teach the new kids some great techniques.”

Rin gave him a grateful smile. “I feel like I’ve become stronger. And it’s all thanks to you. You’re a good teacher, Kohaku.”

“I just taught you the techniques. The strength and execution  are all your own.”

The slayers began to walk back to the village, talking and laughing as they went. They would have to come back later and retrieve the parts from the bear that could be fashioned into weapons. They needed to get protective gear to cut it open so that its blood would not damage their skin. Also, they had been chasing the bear all morning and were in need of something to eat and drink.

As they entered the village, Rin caught sight of Kagome approaching their party. She smiled and waved to her priestess friend.

“Good morning, Kagome!” she called to her. “Guess what I just did? I killed a bear demon all by myself. You should have seen this thing, it had to be at least nine feet tall.”

“That’s wonderful, Rin,” said Kagome. Rin noticed that the smile she gave her seemed forced, and that there was a weakness to her tone when she spoke as though she were nervous about something.

Rin tilted her head in confusion. “Kagome? Is something the matter?”

She remembered the days when she was shorter than Kagome and had to look up to talk to her. Now they were the same height, and Rin felt much closer to her despite their gap in age. She considered the priestess to be like an older sister to her. That was why when she looked at Kagome’s taut expression, she knew instantly that something was bothering her greatly.

“It’s...” Kagome trailed off. She seemed hesitant to say whatever it was she had come there to say. 

“Tell me, Kagome,” said Rin, her tone turning serious. “Whatever it is, we can work through it together.”

“Oh Rin,” Kagome sighed. “It’s  Sesshomaru . He’s—he’s come back.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it took me a while to write this chapter since I didn't want to go too OOC with Sesshomaru and wanted to handle their feelings with care. I tried to keep his responses as close to how the real Sesshomaru would act in this situation. Hope you all are enjoying what I come up with!

Rin walked slowly back to her hut. She was in no hurry to get there. Since Sesshomaru kept her waiting seven years, she didn’t see the harm in making him wait a few minutes. Besides, her legs felt weak and her step heavy. Rin supposed she was nervous though she didn’t know why. She had long since made her peace that he was not coming back—or at least, she thought she had. 

It felt like she was wading through a pool of sludge. No matter how many times in her head she chided herself for the reluctance to see him she simply could not make herself go any faster. Part of her hoped that he would grow impatient with her tardiness and simply leave. At least then they could both avoid the confrontation that Rin knew was coming. 

After Kagome had told her the news and said that Sesshomaru was waiting for her at her hut, Rin just sort of drifted away from the group. She politely declined Kagome’s offer of going with her without meeting the priestess’s eyes. Rin couldn’t look anyone in the eye at that moment, not with all the conflicted feelings welling up inside her. 

She couldn’t decide if she was angry with him for leaving her this long or herself for wanting to see him again. Either way, she tried to fight against it. Rin didn’t like feeling angry or dwelling on the past. She just wanted to move forward with her life, and Sesshomaru’s sudden intrusion felt like a big step back. 

What could she possibly say when she saw him? Though she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind with him, she wanted to greet Sesshomaru with just as much indifference as he would likely greet her. She didn’t want him to know how he had hurt her with his abandonment. Besides, he wouldn’t care. No matter what Jakken said about him caring for her, Rin didn’t think she believed that anymore. 

Gradually, she came to the path that went past her hut and into the forest. Already she could see the white figure stationed outside her home waiting for her return. Rin stopped for a moment on the road as she wrestled with the feelings that seeing him again awoke in her. She realized that this was the true reason she did not want to see him. Rin knew as soon as she saw his face and saw those golden eyes staring into hers, she would want to run to his side once again. Her hand gripped the strap of her staff across her chest. No, she had to stand her ground. 

Sesshomaru turned as Rin drew closer. She was near enough now to see him more clearly. He looked almost exactly the same as the day he left her. That was unsurprising, seeing as he was an immortal demon. 

I’ve changed though, Rin thought as she stopped about ten feet away from him and waited for him to speak first. I was a child when he left. Now I’m a young woman, and I’ve grown strong enough to slay demons. I don’t need him to fight my battles for me any longer. 

Sesshomaru did not speak at first. Rin considered that perhaps he didn’t recognize the young woman standing before him. Perhaps he was ignorant to the aging process of humans and expected a child to greet him. She was still wearing her demon slaying garb so maybe that threw him off too. Either way, Rin remained silent and kept her expression blank as the demon examined her head to toe. 

“Rin,” he said finally in that same voice that betrayed no emotion whatsoever. 

“You recognize me then, Lord Sesshomaru?” she returned in her own emotionless voice. 

He walked closer to her. “Your scent,” he replied “is the only thing about you that is the same.” 

“Seven years is a long time for us mortals. I’ve changed a lot since then.” She spoke forcefully to remind him of his slight against her while still keeping her words respectful. 

He didn’t respond, and Rin didn’t expect him to. Instead, he continued to stare down at her. Despite seven years of growth, Rin was still almost a foot shorter than him and she hated that she still had to look up at him to meet his gaze. The young woman squared her shoulders and stood her ground, letting him know with her body language that she was neither happy to see him nor intimidated by his presence. Inside though, her heart was going a mile a minute. 

“Where have you been?” she asked him when he didn’t speak again. “Master Jakken came to me five years ago and said you were battling something in the west.” 

“I see he delivered the Mizuki Staff as I instructed,” was all Sesshomaru said in response. His golden eyes had moved to examine the weapon strapped to her back. 

Rin clenched her fists. She should have known he wasn’t going to answer her question. “Why have you returned?” Rin asked instead. 

The sound of children’s laughter suddenly reached them. Sesshomaru’s gaze flickered past Rin to her neighbors’ hut down the path. Their two children were outside, kicking a ball back and forth while their mother sat nearby rocking her newborn baby. 

“Come with me,” the dog demon instructed. Without another word, he headed down towards the lake. 

Rin did not follow him. Instead, she turned and went inside her hut. She wanted to change out of her demon slaying gear and wash up first. It was also her subtle way to let him know that she was no longer going to listen to him. 

Inside the hut, Rin pulled away the tie to let her hair down, stripped off her armor, and began bathing herself in the tub of water she kept beside her cot. She took her time in cleaning up after her battle with the bear demon. As with before, she was in no hurry to go to Sesshomaru. Whatever he had to say to her she hoped it would be quick and painless. Then he could be on his way again and she could go back to her life in the village. 

When she was finally clean, dressed in new clothing, and had combed her wet hair out, Rin exited the hut. She made her way down to the lake in the direction Sesshomaru had gone. Up ahead, she could see him seated beneath a tree beside the lake. He looked very serene sitting there and gazing out at the water. Rin sensed that he was tired, especially since he had sat down. She had rarely seen him sit before. 

His head turned to look at her as she approached. He did not look upset at all about her making him wait. In fact, he almost looked amused by it. 

“You’ve become a demon slayer in my absence,” he remarked as Rin took a seat near him but not too close. 

Rin nodded. “Yes. The slayers Kohaku and Sango trained me.” She stopped herself from saying any more than this. Since he wasn’t going to divulge what he was up to while gone then she wouldn’t either. 

“I see,” he murmured. 

The two sat in silence for a while. Rin wished he would say more to her but didn’t expect him to. Still, this was the first time she had ever been alone with him since they first met. Would he venture to speak more with her? Or did his stoic personality extend to even his more private moments? 

“Are you angry with me, Rin?” Sesshomaru asked finally, breaking the silence and making Rin jump slightly. 

“Yes,” she replied without hesitation. She could see he was still looking at her out of her peripheral vision but she refused to meet his gaze. 

More silence followed and Rin was tempted to just get to her feet and leave at this point. She had better things she could be doing, like helping the other demon slayers salvage parts from the bear demon's corpse. If he did not speak in the next three minutes, she resolved to bid him farewell and do just that. 

“I hope you can forgive me, Rin,” he said at last. 

She twisted a blade of grass around her finger while she pondered his words and decided how to respond. Even though she initially refused to open up to him, she could feel the emotions start to leak out through the wall she had built in her heart. “You know, for the first two years after you left, I would sit outside every night for hours waiting for you to return. I’d gaze up at the stars expecting to see you flying down to me at any minute. You didn’t come back for me this time, Lord Sesshomaru.” 

When he said nothing, she continued. “I realized at that time that I needed to stop relying on you, and that my wish to stay with you forever was just that—a wish. So, I stopped waiting for you and I grew up. I became a demon slayer and I became strong enough to protect myself.” She turned finally to look at him. He was still looking at her but she could not read his expression. “Why did you come back?” 

“To see what became of you.” He turned away to look out at the lake again. 

“Well, you saw,” said Rin more bluntly than she had intended. “What happens now?” 

“That is for you to decide, Rin.” 

She gripped the skirt of her kimono in frustration. “Why are you like this?” 

He still did not look at her when he asked “What do you mean?” 

“You always tell others ‘do what you want’ but you never reveal what it is that you want.” Rin closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could no longer keep her true feelings contained and readied herself to let him hear everything that was weighing on her heart. 

“You never explain your actions or your intentions and you leave others constantly guessing what your motivations are. Want to know why I am truly angry with you? Because you are constantly keeping me in the dark about what you expect of me. You left me alone for seven years—that may be the blink of an eye to a demon, but to a mortal like me it is a very long time. And after those seven years you suddenly show up and seem to think things will go back to the way they are. Look at me, Lord Sesshomaru!” She said this last part loudly, and her voice cracked as she did. Rin could feel the tears coming but forced them back as she allowed herself to be filled with the anger that had been building towards him all those years. 

He did turn to look at her and there seemed to be a hint of regret in his expression. “I am looking at you, Rin. I know I hurt you and nothing I say or do will ever change that.” 

Rin put a hand to her forehead as she tried to calm herself and keep her tears at bay. She refused to let him see her cry. “Please, just tell me—what do you want, Lord Sesshomaru?” 

She jumped when she felt his touch on her shoulder. Pulling her hand away, she saw that he had reached out and taken a strand of her hair between his fingers. It was an uncharacteristically affectionate gesture and Rin wasn’t sure how to feel about it. 

“I want you to come with me,” he admitted softly as he gently stroked her hair. 

Abandoning formality and her own resolve to keep him at arm’s length, Rin leaned into him and rested her forehead on his right shoulder. She did so carefully to avoid the spiked armor on his chest. He tensed at first at her touched but soon relaxed and put a careful arm around her shoulders. She could feel the fur he wore gently brushing against her cheek and marveled at how soft and warm it was. No matter how comfortable it felt to be with him like this though, she knew what she had to do. 

“If I go with you,” she said slowly in a weary tone “what will become of me? Will I follow you, only to be left behind while you go do what you need to do? Will my eyes constantly be watching the skies while I await your return? And when I grow too old to continue on with you, will I be left behind until I turn to bones and dust?” 

He didn’t respond, but that was all the answer she needed. Rin smiled sadly into his shoulder. So be it she thought. 

Pulling away, she got to her feet and gazed down at him with the same sad smile on her face. “I loved you, you know,” she confessed in a voice that was almost a whisper. “Maybe it was just a childish adoration but it was strong nonetheless. I wanted to devote my entire life to you. You gave me my life back twice, and for that I will forever be grateful. But now—I want different things now, and I don’t think you are the one who can give them to me.” 

“Rin,” he said, his expression softening for the first time in her memory. 

She shook her head at him. “I can’t go with you. I can’t live my life that way. I’m sorry.” With that, she bowed her head to him then turned and walked away. She did not expect him to try and stop her or say anything more, and he didn’t. Rin did not look back at him, not once. She had made up her mind and said what she needed to say to him. Now it was time to move forward—it was time to move on.


	3. Chapter 3

The sun was beginning to sink in the sky as  Rin sat on the grass outside the  hut of  Inuyasha and Kagome.  After she left  Sesshomaru by  the lake, she had retreated into her hut and waited there for an hour or two until she was sure that he had gone.  After making  sure the dog demon was no longer there,  Rin left her hut and headed to see Kagome. 

She knew if she stayed  alone with her thoughts then she would dwell too much on what just transpired between her and her former companion.  Rin didn’t want to think about what  Sesshomaru would do next  or second guess herself on whether or not she should have  rejected his offer. She had already tormented herself  with all the conflicted feelings she  held in her heart. The choice had been made and it was time to  move on.

As she sat there waiting for Kagome to finish washing up ,  Inuyasha came out of the hut and sat down near her on the grass.  Rin had developed  something of a friendship with  Inuyasha during her time spent in the village. He reminded her of  Sesshomaru , with obvious differences  such as more willingness to speak  more than a few words  with her. S ince she was friends with Kagome , she saw him often and fought beside him many times against attacking demons.

Rin was  sharpening a demon-bone knife on her lap purely for something to keep her hands busy. She didn’t look at  Inuyasha when she asked “Did  Sesshomaru speak with you at all?”

Inuyasha scoffed. “His only words to me and Kagome after  being gone for seven years were ‘ _Where is_ _Rin_ ?’”

“I see,” she replied quietly . “I was hoping that maybe he’d  softened towards you guys after all these years.”

“Oh he has,” said  Inuyasha with a grin. “He didn’t try to kill me or punch me in the face  this time. That’s as good as a hug and a kiss from him.”

Rin giggled. “Yeah, that is a good thing. I suppose his personality won’t allow him to ever be  very  close with you and Kagome but maybe he’s making progress we just don’t see.”

They were silent and she heard  Inuyasha shift on the grass. She got the sense  that there was something he was about to tell her  and h e knew  it  was going to make her feel bad. Some in the village did not appreciate the half demon’s often blunt words but  Rin knew he would tell her what she needed to hear. That’s why , at least in this instance,  Rin liked that quality in him.

“How do you feel about him anyway?” he asked finally in a very direct tone. “I know you were a kid when  he saved you but seven years away is a long time for a mortal to figure things out for themselves.”

Rin didn’t answer right away. Her cheeks burne d  slightly as she recalled her brazen confession of love  earlier on. Rather, she told him she  _ loved _ him in the past tense. She hoped he would take it as that anyway. If  Rin was truly honest with herself though,  some of those feelings of love had survived the storm of anger that raged inside her. However, she was old enough now to know that  he likely  c ould not return her feelings nor give her the life she would want to spend with a loved one.

“You love him, don’t you?”  Inuyasha answered for her . It wasn’t even much of a question so much as a bold statement of truth. He folded his arms across his chest. “Look, I know it’s not what you  wanna hear but loving him is only  gonna end in heartbreak. He’s incapable of loving you or anyone for that matter.”

“I know,” said  Rin in a soft voice. She hadn’t expected his words to hurt  _ that _ much but she was still grateful to hear them all the same.  “It just comes from a childhood wish and my devotion to him after he saved my life. But I know now, I can’t rely on him anymore.”

“You got that right,” he agreed, nodding his head. “ You’ve become strong enough to protect yourself so you don’t need him.  Besides, you found a new family here in the village with us. Kagome  won’t stop talking about how much she thinks of you as a little sister to her.”

Rin smiled when she heard that and felt a warmth  spreading in her chest. “I feel that way too.”

“And you’re kind of like my little sister too.  Even if  Sesshomaru won’t say it, I’m proud of you and how far you’ve come.”

“Thank you,  Inuyasha ,” she said as she turned to him with a  big smile on her face. “You always tell me what I need to hear.”

He returned the smile and nodded at her. “ Sure thing, kiddo .  So , what did he say to you anyway?”

“ Not much,” she muttered. “I guess—well, he did say he wanted me to go with him.”

There was a sudden squeal from the doorway of the hut that made  Rin and  Inuyasha both jump. Turning, they saw Kagome standing there with her hands clasped together.

“He proposed to you?” she exclaimed with no small degree of excitement in her voice.

“No,”  Rin insisted firmly, her cheeks burning. “He meant he wanted me to travel with him again.”

Inuyasha’s ears twitched at this. “Wait, back up.  Were those his exact words?  Did he say ‘I want you to travel with me,  Rin '?”

“ Well, his exact words were ‘I want you to come with me' ,”  Rin confirmed wearily. “But I told him no because he  can ’t give me the life I want.”

“He actually told you he wanted you there with him,”  Inuyasha mused. “I guess he really has changed after all. ”

Kagome huffed and put her hands on her hips. “That  jerk! He needs to be  upfront with you on what his intentions are.”

Inuyasha gave her an exasperated look. “Wait, two seconds ago you were excited for a proposal and now  Sesshomaru is a jerk?”

“You don’t get it,  Inuyasha ,” Kagome chided. “If  Sesshomaru proposed to  Rin then he would be telling her  outright  that  he  wants to be with her. It’s a straightforward  request that cuts to the chase. Saying he wants her to go with him  is so ambiguous about where their relationship stands and will just hurt her even more.”

“I _ know  _ what a proposal means, Kagome,” her husband said through gritted teeth.  “What I don’t get is why you’d be excited by that when you’ve said before you don’t think  Rin should marry him.”

Rin , who had been letting the bickering play out as she always did when they got like this, turned to Kagome in surprise. “Is that true?” she asked her friend. 

Kagome adopted a sheepish look and did not meet  Rin’s eye when she said “Well, from what you’ve confided in me I just thought it sounded like you wouldn’t want to marry him.”

“Then why the hell were you so excited that he proposed to her?”  Inuyasha demanded.

“Because proposals are  still f lattering,  Inuyasha !”

“Well I don’t see how a proposal from  _ Sesshomaru _ __ is flattering. Like I told  Rin earlier, the guy is incapable of love. If he  does want to marry her then he’s got other things on his mind besides love.”

“ Inuyasha !” Kagome hissed, glancing nervously at  Rin . 

Rin shook her head. “No, you’re both right. It’s okay Kagome,  Inuyasha and I talked about it before you came outside. Marrying  Sesshomaru would be a mistake.”

When she realized they were both staring at her, she returned her gaze back down to the bone knife on her lap. “I’ve done a lot of thinking and I realized that yes, I do still love him. But I know if I were to go with him, I’d be constantly left behind until the day I eventually die. I don’t want to live like that, always following him around and being left behind while he goes off to do something . I want to protect  people, and the best place for me to do that is among the demon slayers. So I’m staying here.”

“Oh  Rin ,” whispered Kagome, her eyes looking a little teary.

Rin tried to give her  a confident smile but her heart was aching again. “It’s alright,” she assured her friend. “I just need time, that’s all.”

The three were silent for a while. Then, Kagome broke the silence by asking “So, what would your answer have been if  Sesshomaru offered to stay here with you?”

Rin started. She hadn’t even considered that option. And  Inuyasha was quick to voice the reason why  it had never occurred to her.

“Yeah, fat chance on that, Kagome,”  he said flatly. “ Sesshomaru is too proud to stay in a  mortal village like this. ”

“What if he wanted to be with you that badly though,  Rin ?” Kagome went on. “Would you accept him if he  stayed with you?”

Sighing heavily,  Rin got to her feet. “Look, I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, Kagome,” she said in a tired voice. “ Right now though I’ve made up my mind. If  Sesshomaru truly wants to be with me then it’s up to him to  show me that. And I’ve yet to forgive him for  those seven years he was gone without telling me why. Until then, if it ever even happens,  I am going to protect myself from further heartbreak. ” With that, she  bid them farewell and took  off to go see if Kohaku and the slayers needed any further help that day.

\-----

There was a full moon illuminating the forest that  Sesshomaru walked through without a sound.  He had been walking for hours, trying to put some distance between himself and the  mortal village. He was also attempting to clear his mind but it was proving more difficult than he’d anticipated.  The day had not gone how he thought it would. 

Upon returning to the village to see  Rin , he had been expecting a child to greet  him. He was foolish to forget that humans aged more quickly than demons did. Seven years to them could very well be the difference  between childhood and adulthood.  Sesshomaru had noticed  Rin getting taller before he left  but he didn’t pay any mind to that fact. If he had, seeing  her as a young woman would not have caught him as off guard as it did. And  Sesshomaru was rarely caught off guard so it annoyed him. 

Gone was the smiling, happy girl he had left seven years ago. She was replaced with a woman who smelled the same but did not give him any smiles.  Sesshomaru could sense the anger he had created in her and see the hurt in the indifferent look those brown eyes had  given him at their meeting.  Sesshomaru knew that if he was to receive any more of her smiles, he would have to be made worthy of them.

She was  also d ressed in the demon slaying garb that Kohaku and his sister wore . He was surprised, albeit impressed that she had become  one in his absence. It was good that she was able to protect herself when he was unable to. Smelling Kohaku's scent on her along with the demon  they ’d killed annoyed him, although he was unsure  w hy. 

Sesshomaru had been so sure that  Rin would come with him again that he was again caught off guard when she refused.  That was the second time that day she had surprised him. He felt no anger towards her for her decision, only confusion and another emotion he could not put his finger on. Was it hurt? No, impossible. The Great Lord  Sesshomaru never got his feelings hurt. Whatever the emotion though, it was unpleasant and he wanted it gone.

He stopped and turned to look at A-Un trailing behind him.  Jakken was somewhere farther back, pleading with him to  wait but  Sesshomaru had long since learned to tune out the imp.  The saddle on A- Un's back sat empty .  Sesshomaru felt that negative feeling inside him increase.  She said no, but she had also said that she loved him...

“Milord,” panted  Jakken as he finally caught up. “Why have you stopped?”

Sesshomaru did not answer. He stared at the empty saddle, thinking about  Rin's words and seeing nothing but  the sad smile she had given him before she walked away.  Why was this affecting him in such a way? Though  he cared for  Rin , he knew she was safe in the village and he had always been fine with leaving her behind there before. So why did he _want_ to go back to her this time?

His thoughts were interrupted by the gentle rustling of wings. Turning,  Sesshomaru watched as a large, silver  bird alighted onto a branch above their heads. It flapped its wings a few times to make sure it had their attention before it spoke.

“Lord  Sesshomaru ,” said the bird “your presence is requested when convenient by the Lord  Otori at his palace to the North. That is all.” With that, the bird opened its wings and took off once more.

“How rude!” cried  Jakken as the bird faded into the night sky. “He thinks he can just send a bird with a quick message like that?  My Lord  Sesshomaru should never be treated so—”

“ Jakken ,”  Sesshomaru interrupted him “stay with A-Un. I will speak with  Otori alone.” With that, he kicked off from the ground and flew into the air, following the path the bird had taken and ignoring  Jakken's cries below. He might as well go see what was wanted of him, no matter how tedious a matter it  may be.

Sesshomaru remembered  Otori from their seven year battle in the West. He was a  bird demon that took the form of a tall, muscular man covered in feathers  with a pair of large , silver wings sticking out of his back. His strategies had helped them many times during  that period of fighting but  Sesshomaru found him  somewhat irritating. He was not a great demon but presented himself as such because he had  taken a palace for himself by force and claimed the title of the former lord living there.  Also, he was much too boisterous and laid back for  Sesshomaru’s taste.

This would be a good distraction for him from his dilemma about  Rin though . Dealing with  Otori would at least give him something to do so he was no longer walking alone with his thoughts. Still, even as he flew after the bird he could not get  Rin's face out of his mind.

The bird took him to the vast palace with a red roof that belonged to the Lord Otori and his numerous offspring.  Sesshomaru alighted at the palace gates and proceeded to walk in as though he were the lord of the palace, not Otori. He ignored two feathered but humanoid bird demons who were poised to strike him with their clubs until the silver bird called them off. It lessened his bad mood by a fraction since having to kill the demons would have just been more of a nuisance to him.

The palace walls were gaudy and  Sesshomaru did his best to ignore the décor, instead staring straight ahead at Lord Otori. The Lord was seated on a pillow at the far end of the room. In his enormous hand was a bowl of wine, which  Sesshomaru did not care for the smell of in the slightest. He continued to walk until he was a few feet from the Lord.  Sesshomaru did not bow but stared and waited to hear the reason for his summons.

“Lord  Sesshomaru !” Otori boomed at him, and  Sesshomaru could hear the slight slur to his words. That meant that this bowl of wine was surely not his first. “Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

“You fought well with us in the seven-year battle,”  Sesshomaru replied simply. “I respect you enough to respond to your summons this time. However, I will not be summoned again in such an informal manner as what you chose.”

Lord Otori seemed unfazed by his words. “Of course, of course! Should I require your presence again I will do better next time.”

“So why have you summoned me here?”  Sesshomaru asked, not bothering to keep the annoyance out of his tone. He wanted to make it known that this was a tiresome visit for him, and that it would not be a long one either.

“Yes, my purpose. You see, Lord  Sesshomaru , when we fought  together I couldn’t help but overhear that your lordship has no bride of his own. My bride, Yua, is a fine demon who brings me great happiness. And I couldn’t help but wish that happiness for you as well.”

Sesshomaru glared at him, and the lord quickly went on. “It just so happens that my eldest daughter, Hina, is looking for a husband. I thought I might introduce you both, as she comes from an honorable background and is famous for her beauty. Hina, come out here and meet Lord Sesshomaru!”

He looked to a doorway to his left as he called out. From it emerged a slender female demon with waist-length dark green hair that was entwined with silver flower ornaments. She wore an elaborate gold and red kimono patterned with more flowers and a yellow sash around her waist. Her face was very elegant and painted with rouge on her lips and purple eye shadow over her light green eyes.

She smiled and bowed to Sesshomaru, saying “It is an honor to finally meet you, Lord  Sesshomaru ” as she did so.

Sesshomaru looked at her, but in his  mind he found himself comparing her to Rin for some reason. Rin’s face was not covered in paint and she had worn a simple kimono that revealed her bare feet underneath. Her hair was unadorned and slightly tangled but smelled like the forest. Despite these simplicities, he thought her perfect. While this female demon was beautiful as well, she did not arouse any desire from  Sesshomaru . It was then he began to realize what his feelings for Rin had become.

After only a few moments of deliberation,  Sesshomaru said “No thanks” then turned and walked away. He could hear Otori behind him saying something but he didn’t bother trying to listen to what it was. He knew now why Rin’s words had disturbed him, why he wanted to go back to her, and why he couldn’t stop thinking about her smile. His options now were either to act upon those feelings, try to ignore them, or find a way to be rid of them permanently.  Sesshomaru was fairly certain which of these options he was going to choose.


End file.
